


Closeted Anxiety

by OrmondSacker



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Post-Rogue One, Romantic Fluff, toothrotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9301022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: Bodhi has finally decided to do something about his feelings for Cassian. Still the temptation to beat a hasty, last minute retreat is strong.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this piece of fanart by Kaciart](http://kaciart.tumblr.com/post/155550113358) of Bodhi and Cassian kissing in a supply room.  
> Thank you to CassianXBodhi for finding it again for me after I lost it.

"Are you sure they're in here? I don't see any up on the shelf?" 

Cassian's back is turned towards Bodhi as he speaks, giving Bodhi a grand view. He isn't wearing his jacket as he usually is, just his thin khaki shirt tucked into his pants which allows Bodhi to admire the slim waist and well build shoulders. 

"Bodhi?" 

"Erm, it should be there." 

" If you can't see it from the floor, why should I be able? I'm not _that_ much taller than you are." 

"A whole three inches." 

It's a stupid thing to say and Bodhi feels like kicking himself, his heart is beating too fast and hard in his chest and it feels like it might leap out of his mouth in a moment. This whole idea was stupid to begin with.  

He has asked Cassian to help him find some helix binders to try and get the man alone for five seconds.  

He's been trying to work up the courage to do something about his feelings for the man for weeks, but there's always someone around which makes him go from nervous to petrified. Bad enough to get turned down, he doesn't want an audience for it. The supply rooms are the only place on the base there's any real privacy, so Bodhi had conceived of this plan to ask Cassian for help so he could tell the man in private. 

Now he just wants to back out. 

It's not that he's afraid that Cassian will laugh at him or be cruel, even if he doesn't share Bodhi's feelings he'll be kind about it. Cassian has always been kind, from the moment they met. It's fear that he already _has_ Cassian's answer, that the man knows that Bodhi has feelings for him and have been letting him down easy.  

How could he not know? Reading people was a major part of his job. 

Abruptly Bodhi becomes aware that Cassian is saying his name. 

"Erm, sorry?" 

"Are you okay? You were completely spaced out." 

"Yes. Yes. I'm... fine. Just-" Bodhi shrugs. 

Cassian gives him a suspicious glance, but doesn't press the issue. 

"I was _saying_ that there aren't any helix binders in here. So we're going to have to look elsewhere." 

Bodhi's pulse speeds up, something he'd have thought would be impossibly fast given how his heart is already racing. In a second Cassian will be out the door and he'd have lost his chance. 

"Cassian," he blurts out, his voice sounding too loud in his own ears. 

Cassian stops and turns towards him. 

"Yeah?" 

He's so close that Bodhi can feel the heat coming off his body. This close his eyes looks so dark that Bodhi feels like he's getting lost in them. 

"Bodhi I think we'd better get you to medical, you're acting strange and you look like you're about to pass out." 

Neither of those is technically wrong, he does feel like he might faint but he can't back out, not now. 

"I'm fine, really. I-"  

Oh, to hell with it. He had a nice speech prepared, all rehearsed in his head, but now he can't remember a single word of it. So instead he leans forward, tiptoeing a little to reach, and presses his lips against Cassian's. 

They're softer than he had expected. He feels a small puff of air across his lips when Cassian gasps. 

Bodhi doesn't step back, but as Cassian raises his hands to Bodhi's shoulders he braces himself for the inevitable rejection. Instead he finds Cassian grabbing hold of them and kissing him back with more passions than Bodhi thought a closed lipped kiss could ever possess. 

Time loses its meaning as they stand there, Cassian's hands on Bodhi's shoulders and Bodhi having put his on Cassian's hips for support, gently kissing as if this was their last moments. 

It is not until the sound of footsteps passing outside the supply room that they break apart. 

"So?" Cassian asks, studying Bodhi's face intently. 

"So?" 

"Can I assume you didn't kiss me on a dare?" 

"On a- Why would I do that?" 

"I don't know. Why else would you kiss me?" 

Bodhi looks at him, blinks, then blinks again trying to understand. Individually he understand those words, but put together and coming from Cassian they make no sense. 

"Because I've been thinking about nothing but that whenever you're around for weeks. Come on, Cassian. You of all people should have been able to notice that I got awkward and aroused whenever you're around." 

"I thought maybe you had a thing for tired men in leather jackets." 

Cassian's voice is so sincere that Bodhi can do nothing but gape at him for several seconds. 

"Really," he finally gets out. 

"Yes." Cassian shrugs. "You're not the only one who gets awkward and aroused when the other is around. You can make me feel very awkward indeed, Bodhi." 

Bodhi feels his eyes go wide. "Really?" he says again, this time sounding pleased and surprised. 

Cassian nods and smiles. 

"I almost said something a few times, but then my courage failed me. When it comes to this." Cassian tugs an errant lock of hair behind Bodhi's ear. "It seems that it is lacking." 

Bodhi lets his arms slide around Cassian's wait, putting them chest against chest. 

"I'm not the bravest man myself. I almost didn't do anything. Didn't do anything far too many times." 

Cassian cups the back of Bodhi's head. 

"I am glad one of us found the courage in the end." 

Bodhi can feel the rapid beat of Cassian's heart now against his own, it makes him feel a little braver still. 

"So. Do you want to kiss again?" 

"Yes, but may I suggest we find another place. This is cramped and there's too great a risk of someone else walking in. Perhaps looking for helix binders." 

A blush creeps up the back of Bodhi's neck. 

"Well I needed to get you alone _somehow_ ," he protest. "You were saying?" 

"I have a nice room. It's not big, but it is private. Privilege of rank. We wouldn't be interrupted there." 

The thought of uninterrupted time kissing Cassian makes Bodhi's brain short out again for a moment. 

"Are you sure you don't need a doctor? You're doing it again," Cassian jokes. 

"No doctor, but a kiss might help," Bodhi replies brightly. 

"If I kiss you again right now we'll never make it back to my room." 

"Okay, okay." Bodhi reluctantly lets go of Cassian, steps back and tries to compose himself. 

Cassian is right, if they touch right now they probably won't make it far. Even the silly grin on Cassian's face might be his undoing. 

"Your room," he says with finality. 

"My room."  

For a moment Cassian doesn't move, them he determinedly turns on his heel and walks out Bodhi close behind. Bodhi's palms are still sweaty but now his heart is racing in anticipation rather than trepidation. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the stupidest title I've ever come up with for a fic, yet for some reason I'm giggling. My sense of humor is five years old I swear. I won't even try to make apologies for it.


End file.
